Demigods React to the Lightning Thief Movie!
by nilesalt
Summary: Leo pranks the rest of the Seven, Calypso, Nico and Will into watching the Lightning Thief movie. The demigods are up for a big shock! How will they react to the multitude of mistakes in the movie? Set after the Giant War and Leo returning to the camps.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Everyone I know, who is a PJO and HoO fan, all agree that the Lightning Thief movie was REALLY wrong. It was good as a movie, but as a film adaptation of a book?...No way. So I though it would be funny if Leo pranked the others into watching it. The demigods' reactions are literally how I reacted when I saw the movie. Hope you folks like it! :P**

**Dislaimer: I do not own PJO or HoO**

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><p><strong><span>Prologue<span>**

"Hey, guys?" Leo said while entering in to the room. The other demigods were hanging out in Bunker 9, finally getting some rest after defeating evil Dirt Face and bringing Leo back to camp. He strolled up to them casually and sat down on the bean bag next to Calypso.

Will Solace, who was long ago inducted into their little group, looked up from his position on the couch. He was (big surprise) reading a medical textbook, studying for his degree. After all, he would start college this summer in New York, the same time that Annabeth and Percy would head to New Rome.

"What's it this time, Valdez?" he asked.

"I think it's time for another movie night. I saw the absolutely perfect movie, and I thought you guys would enjoy it. How about tomorrow?" Leo replied.

Annabeth's gaze flickered up towards Leo's face, and saw that the Son of Hephaestus was trying - and failing - to stop grinning, for an unknown reason. Annabeth suspected that Leo wanted them to see the movie, but not because of the plot or anything. No, Leo Valdez probably wanted to prank them.

However, no one else seemed to notice. The rest of her friends (Percy included- she could have slapped him) quickly chimed in their agreement, barely paying attention to Leo.

"Now be quiet, Leo," Piper said, "Hephustaus said that he was going to air 'Hercules Busts Heads' for the first time after it was cancelled ages ago, as a celebration of winning the war. I still can't believe he couldn't defeat my cornucopia but _could_ defeat the Nemean Lion".

"Technically, he wasn't exactly fighti-" started Jason but got a whack on the head with a cushion from Piper, which shut him up.

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><p><strong>AN: Soooooo...what's gonna happen now? ;) Chapters will be longer than this (this is just a prologue) As always, reviews, advice, favourites and follows are always welcome! ;P**

**Nilesalt**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi again! Hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson**

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><p>The next night, they were all back in Bunker 9, with the game room that Leo had decked out with sofas and a giant TV. He made sure everyone was situated with their popcorn and their significant other next to them, then walked to the front of the room. He paused next to the TV and cleared his throat.<p>

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and variations thereupon, I would like to present to you tonight's feature presentation," he declared in his best British accent announcer's voice, and clapped his hands. The TV turned on, revealing the opening to the movie _the Lightning Thief_.

A burst of laughter rang out through the otherwise quiet room. Everyone turned to look at Nico, who was rolling around on the floor next to Will Solace, laughing his heart out. They were shocked - it was so out of character for the son of Hades, so weird , that they didn't know what to do, except gape open mouthed at him.

Leo grinned. "So, di Angelo, have you seen the movie?"

"I saw it that summer that I was going between camps. Oh, gods, this is going to be hilarious!" He managed to stop laughing and pointed to Percy. "Especially for you, Jackson."

Percy's forehead wrinkled. "What do you mean, Nico?"

Leo smirked. "Just wait, Jackson. You'll see soon enough." Then he squeezed into the recliner next to Calypso and waited for the movie to start. 

_A giant man walks out of the ocean, dripping water. He looks over at the dock, where a fisherman stumbles backward in shock._

"Who's that?" Percy asked, confused, looking at the screen.

"Your dad," Leo said with a snort.

"_What_?" Percy cried, taking a look at the brunette man in weird Roman-ish armor.

"It only gets better," Nico replied, "Just wait to see what they've turned the others into." He resisted the urge to spoil what the movie had done to Annabeth and Grover, but he kept his mouth shut. 

_The man shrinks down to human size, and then strolls to the Empire State Building._

"How'd he get there so fast?" Annabeth asked, furiously calculating in her head. " It should've taken about 4 and a half hours at that pace!"

"No one knows!" Leo quipped. "That's the beauty of this movie- none of it makes any sense!" 

_Once on the top of the Empire State Building, Poseidon meets another man._

"Well, now who's that supposed to be?" Jason asked. 

_Poseidon: "Zeus."_

"WHAT?" Jason burst out, shocked that _Sean Bean _of all people was playing his father. Jupiter- or Zeus- was nothing like that. Piper giggled- this could only get better. 

_The two gods bicker, arguing about the theft of the lightning bolt. Zeus threatens an ultimatum and blows open a door._

"Dude, that door wasn't even locked!" Frank protested, "Why'd he have to blow it up?"

"'Cause Zeus, that's why," Percy said. Though the movie was shocking him too (after all, it was describing his life), he could never resist a jab at the stuck-up king of the gods.

"Movie Zeus is a dick to doors" added Leo. 

_The image fades and is replaced by a shot of a boy at the bottom of the pool. He looks somewhat familiar with his black hair and f_

"Wait, is that supposed to be me?" Percy asked.

"Think so, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth replied with a chuckle, kissing him on the cheek.

"But I swear he looks sixteen! I was twelve when I did my first quest!"

"As I said, none of it makes sense!" Leo quipped in 

_Percy surfaces next to a African-american guy with crutches._

_Percy: "How long was that?"_

"Who's that?" Percy asked.

"Grover!" Nico burst out.

Percy looked at him as if he was crazy. "You're kidding me, right? _Right?"_

_Grover: "Seven minutes."_

_Percy: "Seven minutes?"_

_Grover: "Yeah. This is crazy- how you do it?"_

_Percy: "I don't know, I just like water. It's the one place I can think."_

"EPIC FORESHADOWING!" Leo and Piper boom in announcer's voices, then look at each other and crack up.

Percy glared at them. "You've been watching _way _too many online movie reviews, guys."

"Don't care," Leo said, "But seriously, Perce, were you _that much _of an idiot when you first got your powers?" Percy just glared at him more, which only made Leo laugh harder. The other demigods cracked up, and Percy glared at them too.

"C'mon, Percy, we're just laughing with you," Annabeth leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

Nico sat back, watching the demigods as Grover and Percy's school scene in the movie finished. I they thought this was hilarious, wait until they saw the rest of the characters! He could just imagine Annabeth's face when she saw her character...he smiled. He was no longer jealous of Annabeth (who would want Percy when you had Will Solace?), but it would just be a little sweet revenge for how he'd felt over the years.

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><p><strong>It was so much fun writing this! I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did! R<strong>**eviews, advice, favourites and follows are welcome! XD**

**Nilesalt**


	3. Chapter 3

**Third chapter! Whoop! Thank you sooooooooo much for the encouraging comments! You guys are the best ever! You sure convinced me to carry on! :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO or HoO...or the movie (which is rubbish anyway...no offence to Logan Lerman) :)**

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><p><span><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

_Percy gets home and talks to his mom about school, his ADHD and dyslexia ._

"I went to a boarding school then. And my mom doesn't look like that. Can't they get anything right?" Percy sighed dramatically

_A fat man comes into the kitchen and orders Percy's mom around._

"Smelly Gabe" muttered Percy "He's even uglier than that guy acting him"

"Who's Smelly Gabe?" asked Hazel

"My former jerk step-dad" Percy replied "It's a long story"

_The scene changes to show Percy and Grover walking up the steps of a museum. A voice speaks in Percy's mind, stating that 'everything is not as it seems'. Percy stops, bemused, and looks at the other side of the street. A man is looking at Percy, but disappears after a bus drives by._

"Ah, the disappearing-after-a-bus-drives-by cliché." Piper groaned "It makes Percy look as if he has an invisible stalker"

"Hey!" Percy cried out.

_A man in a wheelchair is talking to a group of children about Greek mythology and demigods. Percy is ignoring the teacher and listening to the music with his headphones._

"Oh my gods...Chiron?!" gasped Annabeth. Percy facepalms and everyone dissolves back into laughter at the couple's expressions.

_Mr. Brunner/Chiron: Percy, can you name another famous demigod?... I'll give you a hint. You have something in common.  
><em>

_*Percy thinks, and his eyes drift the artefact on the wall. There is a sentence in Greek at the top. Percy unknowingly translates the Greek to read 'Perseus defeats Cetus'. Percy realises that another famous demigod's name was Perseus*_

_Percy: Perseus!_

_Mr. Brunner/Chiron: Correct!_

"EPIC FORESHADOWING NUMBER 2!" Leo and Piper yelled once again, while everyone else cracked up once more at their silliness

"At this rate, everyone will know what happens even before it does! Did they _have _include the 'translating the Greek' bit?" grumbled Frank

"No-one knows Frank...Oh gods..." Nico pointed at the screen "Now we have a very bad impression of the Kindly Ones" All the heads swivelled from Nico to the screen, where it showed 'Mrs. Dodds' leading Percy into another room 'to talk'.

Percy cheered " Yes! Finally! A good part. Watch where I single handedly kill a Kindly One!"

Leo grinned. Percy was gonna have a BIG shock.

_Percy: So...did I do something wrong? *turns around to see that Mrs. Dodds isn't there* Helloooo? Anyone there? Mrs. Dodds?_

_Mrs Dodds:*standing on top of stacked crates* Where is it?_

_Percy: Woah,woah,woah! How did you get up there?_

_Mrs. Dodds growls and turns into a Fury. She attacks Percy._

"This is when Chiron comes and gives me Riptide" Percy put in. But Chiron never came then. Nico and Leo double up laughing, laughing at Percy's once-smiling, now utterly shocked face. The others look at the screen expectantly.

_Chiron and Grover finally come in and threaten the Fury. The Fury then drops Percy and flies out of the window._

"They can't even get that part right? I was supposed to kill her!" Percy exclaimed. Annabeth ruffled his hair and laughed at his outraged expression.

"I am NEVER gong to look at the Kindly Ones in the same way again" Hazel groaned, while shaking her head

_Percy: Woah, woah, woah, woah...I'm going crazy! I need medication!_

_Grover: Percy, calm down!_

_Percy: Woah, woah, wait...did that THING just attack me? Was it even real?_

Leo mimed going crazy, while Percy faked being mortified by hiding himself by pulling Annabeth in front of him. Annabeth responded by pulling Percy into a hug and then kissing him playfully on the cheek.

"So, Percy, did you behave like that when you first saw the Kindly One?" Calypso giggled

"Nah, Percy would've just ran away screaming like a little girl and saying 'woah' too many times!" Leo teased

"C'mon guys, lay off Percy a bit. You can tease him even more when the Percy fails in training." Nico grinned suddenly "Oh, watch this! It's a good part!"

_Chiron gives Percy a pen_

_Chiron: Percy, this is a powerful weapon. Use it times of extreme danger._

_Percy: *Looks back and forth between the pen and Chiron.* __This is a pen...this is a PEN._

Now even Percy laughed at Movie Percy's stupidity. All the demigods were doubled up, laughing their heart's out. It also seemed that Frank was laughing so hard that he promptly turned into a white bunny rabbit, that continued to shake with laughter. Once they had gotten over laughing, they all realised that Leo had knocked over the popcorn (which they had to call Buford.02 to clean up) and that Frank was still a bunny rabbit. Once everyone was back in their place, in human form and mentally composed, Leo clicked the play button.

_Grover and Percy rushed into Percy's apartment. His mom is serving lunch to Gabe and his friends. When Percy angers Gabe, Grover intervenes and knocks Gabe unconscious with his crutches. Grover tells Sally that Percy's in danger, and the three rush out to go to Grover's "mysterious" camp._

"Oooooooh...that's gotta hurt" all the boys chorused, as they saw Gabe being hit in a VERY uncomfortable place or boys

"You have to give it to Grover...he knows his moves" mused Piper

Nico yawned and laid his head back on Will's chest. When he had watched this movie the first time, he lost count of all the mistakes in the movie because there were so many. He guessed it was going to take a very long time till it finishes, (because they had to pause it every time they laughed so much), so he thought he might as well get comfortable now...

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><p><strong>I laughed so much writing this...I remember how much I laughed when I watched the movie. I'm just assuming that the original Buford gets destroyed when the ArgoII gets destroyed...So Leo just makes a Buford.02...that's just what I think! I'm sooooooo sorry for making you guys wait. Teachers have this amazing talent for giving us THREE tests *read: exams* in a week. And the teachers say that the 'tests' will be easy...Of course they'll be easy! They're teachers! <strong>

***sigh* sorry about that rant. Anyway, I'm thinking about posting a new chapter every weekend. How does that sound? As usual, reviews are welcome! :)**

**P.S: How do you think Annabeth should react to her actor? I've got an idea in my head, but what do you think?**

**nilesalt :P**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for making my wonderful readers wait. I had so much going on *read: homework* and I was really busy. So busy I hardly had time to go to the school library. Which is totally not me cos i literally go to the library EVERY SINGLE WEEKDAY :( . But I am surviving...barely. **

**So, on to the story! Hope you peeps like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the PJO or HoO series. Or the really bad movie.**

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><p>Everyone snuggled closer to the warmth and softness of their recliners, some yawning, some grumbling.<p>

_It is midday when Sally, Percy and Grover are driving to the camp. _

_Percy: Where are you taking me? What is this 'camp'?_

_Sally: Camp. This camp is for special people._

_Percy: What, you mean I'm crazy or something?_

"That can be certified" sniggered Jason

_Sally: Percy, this is about your father_

_The image fades and then shows the car heading along a dark deserted road. _

_Sally: Percy, your father was like no other guy I had ever seen, and he was just dazzling..._

_Grover: Pffffff...They're always dazzling_

"Wait guys, backup" Annnabeth interrupted the groans the demigods from Grover's comment "How come Sally says that it's about Seaweed Brain's dad in the day and only talks about it at night?" Annabeth's comment made the others produce 'oooooooh's and 'aaaahhh's from the others

"Only Wise Girl can spot those details" Percy boasted and swung an arm around Annabeth's shoulders. Leo was silently laughing in his head. He couldn't wait to see their expressions later on.

_The car continues to drive on and the screen shows a dark, large humanoid figure behind the fence where cows are grazing._

"Beef Boy" muttered Percy, and then brightened up "At least they put this part in! "

This time, Leo and Nico didn't laugh. The other boys had their eyes glued to the screen, but the girls looked at the son of Hades and son of Hephaestus curiously. The truth was, that the two boys didn't find anything wrong with that scene, and Nico was pretty sure that Percy still had the Minotaur's horn in his cabin.

_Percy: Why did my father have to leave? Why?_

_Sally: Because he-_

_Grover: Sally! WATCH OUT!_

_Something large nearly lands on the car, but Sally veers to the side, causing the car to flip over and land on its hood_

All the girls shrieked and clutched at their boyfriends' arms. Will was also slightly startled, and jumped a bit. Later on, he would never admit that he snuggled closer to Nico, when a smirking Leo (who was waiting for everyone's reactions) asked him about it.

_Percy: Mom? Grover? You alright?_

_Grover: Is it me, or is it raining cows?_

"There is a very big difference between a cow and Pasiphaë's son. For one-"Annabeth was interrupted by Jason snorting with laughter at Movie Percy expression

_Percy is staring at the distance, where he sees a bull-like creature is charging towards the car._

_Percy: What it that?_

_Grover: Oh no!_

_Sally: Get out! Get out!_

_Sally and Percy are banging ar the doors of the car, trying to get out, but Grover is trying to take off his pants_

_Percy: Dude! Why are you trying to take your pants off?_

_Grover: It's my job_

_Percy: Dude!? You're half donkey?!_

"The technical term is satyr" chorused everyone loudly, then cracking up.

"Dude, this is messed up! Like, totally messed up!" Frank laughed incredulously.

The demigods all silently agreed with Frank and continued to watch. The screen showed them running up the Half Blood Hill, while the Minotaur threw the car at them, but missed.

"You know, I never really did like that Camaro" mused Percy

_The three reached the top of the Hill. Sally can't get through and Percy doesn't want to go in without her._

"Wait, Grover was meant to be unconscious at that time" commented Will "I remember healing him in the infirmary, with him grovelling into the blankets, groaning 'FOOOOOOOOOOOOD'" Will did a crude imitation of Grover, before Nico punched him on the arm and told him to shut up.

_Sally is suddenly grabbed by the Minotaur, to Percy and Grover's horror. Sally turns into golden dust and Percy, ready to avenge his mother, approaches the Minotaur. _

_Grover: Percy! Use the pen!_

_Percy: What?!_

_Grover: Uncap the pen!_

_Percy uncaps the pen, which turns into a sword, and nearly skewers Grover._

"Why can't Beef Boy attack when they're just standing there? And can't they just go into camp and be safe, rather than being in danger?" Piper sighed

"Ha, they simply adore my bull-fighting skill, that's why" Percy put in. Nico snorted. If you said that Movie Percy's fighting skills were good, that would be a downright lie.

_Percy makes a few bad swipes at the Minotaur, then loses his sword, before it charges at Percy. Percy moves at the last second and the Minotaur lodges its horn into the tree_

"Ha!" Percy stood up and shouted at the screen "Take that Beef Boy!"

"Calm down, Seaweed Brain" Annabeth smiled "It's just a movie"

"It's more than a movie, it's the movie of my life" Percy shot back, sassily

"Someone get camera! Quick! Annabeth is being sassed!" Leo teased, but was quietened by Annabeth's glare. If looks could kill, Leo would have been dead for the second time.

_The Minotaur gets its head out of the tree, and Percy goes to the tree, trying to get the horn out. The monster charges once more, but Percy gets the horn out just in time, and stabs the Minotaur in the stomach. It falls back to the ground, dead._

"Oh...my...gods" said a gobsmacked Piper and Annabeth

"Oh gods! Pause it! Right after Percy kills it" shrieked Hazel. Leo did as she asked and looked at the screen, looking at Hazel apprehensively.

"This, is an offence to my entire being...our lives..." gasped Piper.

At this moment the boys were looking at their girlfriends rather worriedly, until Will let out a screech.

"Oh my gods, Nico did you just see-" started Will but he got interrupted by his boyfriend's growl

"I swear, whoever made this movie, will get one hell of a punishment when they die..." Nico, Annabeth, Piper, Hazel and Will were all glaring at the paused screen.

"Can someone just tell us WHAT EXACTLY YOU ARE STARING AT?" Frank questioned rather impatiently.

"The screen"

"A terrible mistake"

"An offence...a personal offense"

"An immediate sentence to the Fields of Punishment"

"Hell, even Echidna and Typhon would be crying if they saw this!"

"Okay, guys, I'm gonna get Chiron, he'll know what to do" Leo started to get up, but Calypso grabbed his arm and gasped, horrified.

"Oh gods! Leo, I see it now! I knew mortals were stupid, but not to this extent!"

"Errrr, Sunshine, you feeling all right?" Leo asked, wincing at the strong grip that Calypso had on him.

"Dude, I think there's something wrong with the scree-OH MY GODS! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?" Percy exploded along with Jason, Leo and Frank.

"Okay, peeps, finish the sentence: When monsters die, they-" Piper said calmly

"TURN TO DUST!" screamed everybody in the room

"Now that we've got that out of our systems, we can continue watching this" Annabeth said

"Not before I do this..." Percy took out Riptide and was going to uncap it, but Leo jumped in front of him

"Whoa, calm down, buddy! I spend three hours working on this baby, just to make it monster proof. And you won't damage her just 'cause they didn't make a monster turn to dust!"

"Wait, your TV is a she?" Percy asked

Annabeth pulled the distracted Percy back down and Leo played the movie once more.

_Exhausted, Percy collapses against Grover. The screen changes to show an old fashioned place, with many beds and people rushing around. The camera zooms in on Percy. He groans then wakes up._

_Percy: Argh...where am I?_

"The most common words used when someone falls unconscious" said Calypso said dryly

_Grover: The infirmary_

"WHAT?" shrieked Will "I literally live in the infirmary, and they turn it into...into..._that..."_ Will shuddered, while everyone else giggled at the Head of the Apollo cabin's distress.

_Grover: Do you...remember anything?_

_Percy: Nah...Just a crazy dream about barnyard animals...yeah, you were there too, as were this weird hybrid goat-man THING!_

_On the last word, Percy looks down and sees Grover is satyr form._

"Okay, guys, this is a really random thought, but do satyrs wear underwear?" asked Leo, truly intrigued

"EWWWWW!" chorused all the girls

"Remind me to ask Grover next time he comes back...I don't know why I didn't think of that before..." Percy grinned

"Who would've know that my boyfriend had such a dirty mind?" Annabeth sighed

" Well, I do know a lot more..."

"Seaweed Brain isn't completely clueless" put in Piper

"Yeah, Annabeth!" said Percy "Piper is right!"

But everyone was too busy giggling at what Piper said - and how Percy took it.

"Wait...you said...'_isn't completely_ clueless'..." Percy realised, but Jason started the movie again, before Percy could do anything.

_Percy: Oh no, no, no...So that was real?...so my mom is...?_

_Grover: I'm sorry Percy...but there is bigger news._

_Percy: What now?_

"Dude, he didn't even act like he lost someone...especially his mom" said Frank pityingly

"I know, right?!"

_Grover led Percy out of the infirmary and took him outside. They are in the middle of a forest, and many teens around the same age as Percy are there. They are learning to fight, using, spear, swords, bow and arrows and wearing some weird armour(according to Percy). _

_Grover: Percy. This is your new home. Welcome to Camp Half Blood!_

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><p><strong>*dodges spears, swords, Greek fire, arrows and traps*<strong>

**Well, I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger, but...I had to do it! I can see why Rick like cliff hangers :P You'll see their reaction to Annabeth in the next chapter! Again I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for for making you guys wait...but I tried to make up for it for the long chappie.  
><strong>

**Sorry if the characters seemed OOC, but I think the best bit about killing monsters (if I was I demigod..or am I?) is the satisfaction of turning them to dust. And I'm pretty sure all demigods feel like that. So, guys you know the routine: Review, replies favs, follows and advice is always welcome! :P**

**nilesalt :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**ANNABETH ****REACTION TIME! The part you guys are waiting for! *FANGIRL SQUEAL* yeah, i'll get on with the story**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or HoO...**

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><p><em>Grover: Percy. This is your new home. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood!<em>

Everyone was shell-shocked, apart for Leo and Nico who had their hands over their ears. There was no noise coming from the demigods. Until:

"WHAT IN HADES WERE THEY THINKING?!"

"OH MY GODS! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THIS WORLD?"

"NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I SEEN ANYTHING THAT BAD!"

"THIS IS WORSE THAN POLYBOTES' FACE! AND HIS FACE CAN CRACK A MIRROR"

The ranting stopped abruptly.

"Uh, Percy, you can't exactly compare this movie to Polybotes' face.."

"Oh yes I can!"

"But the term itself is grammati-"

"wait a sec..." realised Piper " THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING THE CAMP T-SHIRTS!"

"Nico never wears camp t-shirts" pointed out Jason, unhelpfully

"WHAT ELSE DO EXPECT ME TO WEAR? I'M THE SON OF HADES!"

"See! Just because people steryotype you as a goth, doesn't mean you always have to wear black all the time!"

"Pipes, your Aphrodite sense is taking over"

"Maybe Will can kiss some sense into Nico's thick brain!"

"Gladly" smirked Will, as he ruffled Nico's tomato-red face

"AT LEAST I DON'T WEAR SUSPENDERS COVERED IN GREASE AND SOOT ALL THE TIME!" Nico shot back at Leo

"I have to admit, Leo does look pretty good in suspenders" Calypso reflected aloud

"HA! CALY AGREES THAT MY AWESOMENESS IS SO MUCH BETTER YOUR'S!"

"Dude, she didn't even mention your awesomeness..." expressed Frank

"Jason! Back me up here!"

"Well...you might not have any awesomeness.."sniggered Jason

"Not helping! I thought we were growing our bromance!"

"MY PERSASSY-NESS IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S AWESOMENESS!"

"WOULD EVERYONE JUST SIT STILL AND BE QUIET!" Piper charmspoke

"How am I supposed to keep still? I'm ADHD!" whined Percy

"Aren't we all, Percy..." sighed Annabeth

"He's still the same idiot who landed on my island" Calypso agreed

"Yeah, but _how_ exactly am I supposed to keep still?! I have ADHD and Dyslexia!" Percy repeated, expecting someone else to tell him to shut up. Except, a very...different person answered him:

_Grover : And those are your greatest gifts._

After everyone had realised that Percy had said something which had been coincidently answered by the TV, they began laughing for the millionth time.

"Percy..."gasped Nico "Your face..."

"Priceless..."

"Oh, this reminds me of Star Wars..."

"Yeah, if you said 'how long?' right after the guy says ' Obi Wan...I haven't heard that name...' then he replies ' A very long time'

"Since when have you been a Stars Wars fan?" questioned Hazel to Frank

"Ummm...me and my mom-" started Frank

"My mom and I" corrected Annabeth promptly

"Eh, just leave Frank alone would ya Annie" grinned Will

"Don't call me Annie!"

"Didn't you say something about Star Wars, Mr. Sunspot?" smirked Nico

"Uh...maybe?"

"That's my boy" said Jason to Piper, who rolled her eyes. Nico twisted his head round to Jason.

"I'm nobody's-"

"Let's just watch the movie" interuppted Annabeth, because she was too wise to let one boy with his hair standing on end and clothes charred, when stuck by lightning and the other being beaten up by summoned skeletons.

_Grover: So this is where you do most of your battle training_

_The camera zooms in on a brunette, who is fighting against many attackers. Percy looks on and seems to 'like' her._

"This better be not what I think who I think it is..." said Annabeth. Leo and Nico were literally jumping up and down in their seats, but everyone else was too busy judging the fighting to notice.

_Percy: That girl over there...her name..._

"Oh no..." groaned Annabeth,who promtly buried her head under the balanket.

_Grover: Ha! She will squash you like a bug!_

_Percy: HER NAME!_

"Leo! Switch it off, or I'll tell Calypso about Khoi-

_Grover: Annabeth. Daughter of Athena, goddess of widsdom and war._

At that particually crude comment, everyone was literally belly-laughing, but not at Annabeth. Well, okay, maybe a bit at her furious, murderous, ' I'm-gonna-kill-you-but-am-restraining-myself-from-murdering-you-in-a-particualy-horrifying-way' expression, but they were laughing at how . Most of them were close to tears and were bent double, until Percy did his taxicab whiste to shut them up.

"Okay, guys. Please tell your thoughts to the TV." grinned Percy

"Great blackmail material"

"Too amusing to be put into words"

"The very part I was waiting for"

" I could die laughing like this!"

"My actions will speak more than my words" growled Annabeth, who stood up and had her knife in her hands. Percy pulled her back down and cleared his throat.

"I'd like to make a speech"

"Wow Perce, never knew that you were that amused"

"Shut up, Repair Boy. Ahem. So, where was I ?...ah yes. The speech. I liked the fact that the mortals who made this movie, made Annabeth as a brunette"

"Oooooo, here it comes...RE-JEC-TION!"

"Leo, does this look like rejection to you?" said Percy, exasperated

"It might do" said Leo stoutly

"Yeah, and you might be in the infiramry in the next 24 hours with serious brain damage"

"Actually, he might already have brain damage as he said ' I try not to think. It interferes with being nuts'" contemplated Frank

"Hey! Really feeling the love here!"

"Just get on with your speech, Perce" Piper shook her head with despair

"Oh right! Yeah! So, I'm really glad that they made my Wise Girl a brunette because that shows that my girlfriend is one in a million. Not even the best actor in the world could portray her because she's so unique. Even if there was an actor good enough to act like Annabeth, the real Wise Girl would be funnier, smarter, beautiful-er, amazing-er, and pretty much everything else positive-er..." Percy trailed off, while turning beet-red and sinking down into the recliner next to Annabeth.

"AWWWWWWW" chorused all the girls when they saw Annabeth responding to Percy's speech with a kiss. Until they got interuppted by a cushion being thrown at them.

"Get a room, love birds!" smiled Will, chuckling at the blushing couple.

"Just one thing, Seaweed Brain, for any future 'speechs'" said Annabeth while ruffling Percy's hair "Try to use correct grammer with superlatives"

"Killjoy!" gasped Percy, drammatically with a hand to his heart. But a cheeky glint in his eyes gave away his playful nature.

_Grover: C'mon. Don't stare, keep it movin'. Keep it movin'._

"Say what now?" said Jason "Did Grover actually try to prevent Percy and Annabeth from being together?"

_They come out of the clearing and Grover leads Percy to the sea shore._

_Grover: There's someone I want you to see.._

_As if on cue, some creatures on come into sight. They seem to look like men riding horses. _

_Percy: W-what is that?!_

_Grover: They're centaurs_

_Grover and Percy meet Mr. Brunner in horse form. Mr. Brunner introduces him as Chiron._

_Percy: Mr. Brun-sorry, Chiron...you've wow! You have –_

_Chiron: A real horse's ass, yes I know!_

A collective groan sounded in Bunker 9.

"If this is how bad the puns are going to be in this movie, I swear I'm going to smash the DVD after we see the movie"

"Only _after_ you've seen it? I'd like to smash it now!"

"The real Chiron would never say that, even if you offered him a million drachmas"

"I would!"

"Yeah, but you're not an centaur who trains heroes, are you?"

"How would you know? I could be an alien living on the planet McShizzle is aweso-"

"Shut up Leo. Trust me, I know. But you being an alien is pretty close to the truth"

" I can't believe I've survived through this much already! It's been, like, an hour of mental torture!"

"Actually, Percy, it's only been 25 minutes. There's about 95 more minutes left"

"There were days when I said that living life like the movies would be better than reality. But I spoke too soon"

"For once, I actually think Percy is correct"

"It must be a miracle"

"Really feeling loved here..."

Hazel shook her head in amusement, and let out a sigh. 95 more minutes? She had feeling she might be asleep by then. The movie then showed Chiron showing Percy the Poseidon cabin. She watched the others dicuss about how badly the mortals had made Percy's cabin...and where were the other cabins? They were supposed to be in a semicircle-ish shape then?! The movie would never fail to surprise them...and amuse, annoy and anger them...so far...

* * *

><p><strong>Did ya like it? Hope you did! I swear, when I watched this with my friends for the first time, the TV would've gotten destroyed by pillows, if not for my amazing self-control XD Hope you guys didn't find Percy OOC in his 'speech'. I made him do that because I think that he would try to find the silver lining in the repulsive movie, to make Annabeth happy...PERCABETH 5-EVER! I literally ship it so much. And the Star Wars thing. Don't even ask why I put it there. I technically got that from Princess Diaries... so just in case, I don't own it Princess Diaries or Star Wars . It's half-term now, so there will be a quicker update..yay!<strong>

**QUESTION TIME! :**

**What was the funniest part about the Capture the Flag scene? (I'm writing about that bit next :P )**

** -you can point out anything wrong about that scene if it gives you pleasure :P**

** -the scene starts from the part where Chiron introduces Percy to CHB till the part where Percy takes the flag**

**I think that's about it! Oh yes...you know the drill: REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! :D**

**nilesalt**


	6. Author's Note

_**I'M SO SORRY, BUT THOUGHT I SHOULD TELL YOU GUYS THAT THIS FANFIC WILL NOT BE CONTINUED FOR A WHILE. I'VE KINDA LOST MY INSPIRATION FOR THIS, AND AM DOING THIS ON TOP OF MY SCHOOL WORK. I'M REALLY FINDING IT DIFFCULT TO HAVE A SET UPDATING SCHEDULE. BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T, YOU WOULDN'T HEAR FROM ME FOR...ABOUT A YEAR? **__**OK. MAYBE I'M EXAGGERATING. BUT I WOULD DISAPPEAR OF THE FACE OF THE FAN FICTION WORLD FOR A WHILE.**_

_**THE GOOD THING IS, THAT I **__**WILL**__**BE CONTINUING THIS STORY SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE, BUT I'M NOT SURE WHEN. BUT WHEN I DO, PROMISE TO HAVE THE CHAPTERS READY WHEN NEEDED TO, AND I WILL DELETE THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE.**_

_**IN THE MEANTIME, I AM WRITING A TMI (THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS) FANFIC FOR ANY OF YOU TMI FANS. HERE'S THE BASIC SUMMARY - I'M NOT GIVING IT AWAY! :P - :**_

**Dead Demons Around Me; Feeling Bad-Ass**

**Princess Clary of the ****Morganstern ****Kingdom in the land Idris has come of age . She is to have all eligible bachelors to stay at the palace for 4 weeks so she can choose one to be her royal consort. But Clary has no intent of finding a husband, true love or her happily ever after as a perfect princess . Her dream is to be a legendary****Shadowhunter****, to fight in the army of Idris for her country and people, against the demons that attack her land. But will her love, sorry, **_**liking **_**for two princes change her mind? And which one will she choose?**

_**EXCITING! DID YOU LIKE THE SOUND OF IT? BTW, IT WILL HAVE SOME MENTION OF TID (THE INFERNAL DEVICES) CHARACTERS, AND THE TITLE MIGHT BE CHANGED LATER ON. I WON'T POST IT UNTIL I GET QUITE A FEW CHAPTERS READY AND ROLLING, SO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED! :P **_

_**nilesalt XD**_


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